President's
Platitudes
- by Patrick Mewing 
August 2007
What a
month! No sooner had I berated members
for putting the top up in cold weather, and the temperature plummets. It’s been a long time since we’ve
had a winter like this one, so let’s get out and enjoy it. I’m contemplating driving the Elan to work tomorrow, just to prove a point, but I’m
in theatre and my fingers wouldn’t thaw out until lunchtime – maybe
on the weekend.
Last month’s big club trip was the weekend away to Noosa for our annual “Christmas in July” and to
watch a few of the stages in the Suncoast Rally. I was planning to simply rock up with Gabby
and Claudia, watch the cars, and have a relax. What happened is Tom Kuzman
called at the last minute, in need of a navigator. After obtaining permission, I dusted off the
old stopwatch and went up to navigate for Tom – for more details,
I’ve written a piece in this issue.
This wasn’t much of a change to our plans, as Gabby and Claudia
could still come up, I’d just be there first, and be a little distracted
during the day! Claudia had other plans,
however, bringing home a gastro bug, which delayed things, and then giving it
to her mother, which cancelled their trip altogether. Two days after getting home, I got it, of
course, so a few days off work for Noosa turned into
two weeks in the end. It’s a myth,
perpetuated by the oestrogen sisterhood, that men
complain more than women when they’re sick. This is simply not the case. As a doctor, I can assure you that men do
get sicker than women. This is well
known amongst doctors (well, male ones), but women will never understand, and
refuse to listen! I tried explaining
this to my wife, but will have to prove it with original research before
she’ll even budge on the subject – perhaps there’s a PhD in
there somewhere…
Club member
About a dozen or so club members went up for the weekend, and
I’m assured by Steve Lennox that he and
The Noosa weekend clashed with the
sprint meeting at Morgan Park, but new club member Garry Pitt was there in his
Elise and has also written about it in this issue. Thanks to everybody who submitted articles
for this month’s magazine – it lets us all see what the club is up
to. Although we get spectacular numbers
at each monthly meeting, the magazine goes out to every financial member every
month, so it’s important to utilise it as much as possible, if you want
to say something. It also provides a
permanent reference, so it’s a great place to publish a technical
article, which we all love reading.
I mentioned that we get a great turn out every month, and last
month’s meeting was no exception, with standing room only.
Two weeks after that will be the Historics
at Morgan Park (11th – 12th August), which after
years of threatening to (and some unsubtle pushing from
The next meeting will be at Chapman’s on Tuesday the 14th
of August, and since the next day is the Ekka holiday
(except for us poor schleps that work on the coast), we can stay out late. Until then, try not to let your excitement
level exceed your coefficient of friction (saw a bit of that at Noosa, too).
Patrick
July 2007
Well, here we are in the middle of the year and it’s finally
turned cold. This means manfully rugging
up when driving, not putting the top up!
Driving a convertible in fine weather (well, say, less than Force 8) is
a travesty – in fact, as president, I think I shall ban it in the club,
deducting points from the Clubman trophy for each transgression. The last thing we need is an MG driver
disdainfully staring and cocking his ice encrusted eyebrow at a Lotus driver
who has the temerity to have the hood up on a brisk morning. After all, we need to keep our end up! Our more southerly residing Lotus enthusiasts
would probably go swimming on days that we Queenslanders would prefer to spend
under a doona, and I, for one, am determined to keep the hood under the tonneau
for the duration, regardless of carelessly covered body parts getting frost
bitten.
If you haven’t been following my ranting for the last few
months, let me fill you in – I’m renovating (my house, not my car,
which seems to get done annually). This
has led to varying amounts of stress depending on the stage of the project
(which is becoming more complicated than the Apollo program). At the moment, I have no kitchen, so my wife
and daughter have scarpered to grandma’s place to be pampered, while I
stay in the filth and chaos, trying to keep an eye on tradesman and eke out an
existence on leftovers (the fridge is on the balcony, the microwave in a
cupboard) and take away. I don’t
want to stay, but the prospect of tradies running
through my home unsupervised, gradually diverging further and further from the
design that I want, is enough to give me a rash. It’s amazing how even the simplest of
instructions can be misinterpreted by the most skilled craftsman. Anyway, what it means is that I have to stay
around and keep an eye on things – “pester” is another word
for it, I guess. But I have learned a
few things. For instance, it’s
entirely possible to survive for a whole week on nothing but chilli con carne
and cornflakes (two versatile foods).
Probably the most often used trade in the club is mechanic. I’ve come across plenty over the years,
most OK, some excellent, and then there’s the one or two that stand out
for all the wrong reasons. I remember
one who thought he was Patrick Head, but turned out to be his brother,
Dick. It took years and thousands of
dollars to undo the mess this idiot made. It reminds me of the definition of
heaven that I saw once when travelling.
Heaven is where the police are British, the mechanics German, the chefs
French, the design Italian, and the organisation Swiss. This, of course, leads me to ponder what hell
might be. Hell is where the police are
German, the mechanics French, the chefs British, the design Swiss, and the
organisation Italian. Kinda makes you
think…
So I’ve been living this batcheloroid
existence for a few weeks, gradually running out of clean clothes (it’s a
major effort to get to the washing machine and clothes line – luckily I
have abundant Lotus shirts), food (the fridge is developing a primeval fug
– I’m now afraid to open it, lest I wreak havoc on the ecosystem)
and money (this thing is waaay over budget),
punctuated by visits from Gabby, who brings me food, moral support, and keen
powers of observation (the shrivelled, dry sticks in the planter pots are mute
testimony to my failure to do any watering of the plants).
All this has been a distraction, which means that have had to let a
few things slide. One of these is the Suncoast Classic, which, although now in abridged format,
should still be a fun few days – I believe
We’ve had a couple of good runs in the last month, both
organised by Russ, (well, he nicked one off the MX-5 club, but Mazda nicked the
MX-5 design from an Elan, so it evens out). The first was up over
The last meeting was the usual great roll up, with no fewer than
four new people, Lotus enthusiasts all, turning up (welcome Chris, Peter, Geoff
and Mark). There was meant to be a
presentation of trophies from the Mother’s Day concourse, but they
hadn’t arrived in time, so that will be done next meeting – it
could still be you!
The next meeting will be the Tuesday directly after the Christmas
in July weekend, (10th of July) at Chapman’s at 7:30, as
usual. The next run after that will be
the “Tour de Sheds” on the 29th of July (Sunday), so
keep it free in your diary, as it’s always good fun to see what’s
lurking in club members’ garages.
Until then, try and keep you tyres on the black stuff.
Patrick
June 2007
Firstly,
let me begin this month by apologising for getting the date for Mother’s
Day wrong – but in my own defence, I seem to recall getting it off the
website. Never mind, mea
culpa, the buck stops here. Despite
having a few days of rain and being very threatening on the day itself, we has
a good showing, with eventually 13 Lotus on display at MacLean’s
Bridge. The rain pretty much kept away,
except for one member attracting a deluge as he drove out his front door –
if only the 340R had a roof, Derek!
There was a good display across all the marques as well, but Lotus Club
Also last month we had the second running of Russ Carter’s
“mystery run” – which, I guess, is no longer a mystery. A neat little run to the Zupps
Lotus Gold Coast dealership via Sanctuary Cove, new member
I’ve been nagging club member Steve Lennox into giving us a
technical lecture on oils. Steve was
quite graceful about it, and last month’s meeting was it. What I didn’t expect was a
fantastically detailed and well structured audio visual extravaganza. Thanks, Steve – it was, despite the
high level chemical engineering, easy to follow, and a great talk. Now I’ve got even more things to
question my mechanic about! (Sorry
Greg). It’s great to have such a
depth of expertise, as well as experience, right here in our own club.
Also at the last meeting were the bulk of club members who went to
Lotus 2007, and the overwhelming opinion was that it
was a great event. The next one is 2009
in
I’ve been talking to Dan Bowden, who came and spoke to us
the previous meeting, and he has invited the club up to view the Bowden
collection and have a barbecue lunch at Buderim. The tentative date is in late July, but
we’ll nail it down by the next meeting, possibly combining it with a run
to the hinterland. Keep an eye on the
calendar.
The next meeting will be at Chapman’s on Tuesday the 12th
of June, but the very next Sunday will be our annual “Christmas in
June” lunch at Maleny, which will incorporate a few of the stages of the Suncoast Classic and should be a great day. Don’t forget to keep that Sunday free
in your diary (17th).
Just a short one this month, see you at the meeting.
Patrick
May 2007
The biennial Easter national meet has now come and gone, and by all
accounts, it was a cracker. Wade and
Derek, the club’s dynamic social convenors, flew straight back from
Also at the April meeting was Dan Bowden, of Bowden’s
classic car collection and car care products fame, who gave us a great talk on
his family’s car collection, which includes the Allan Moffat
Lotus Cortina, and a surprisingly factual account of
how they got involved with car care products, and details of each of them. Dan amused us with stories about the history
of the Lotus Cortina (including Colin Chapman
stealing a midnight drive when no-one was watching at Sebring), and also made a
good case for Bowden’s Own car care being the best in the world, or any
other big place. Several club members
bought some off Dan (who came prepared with a wireless EFTPOS!) – we await feedback about how they stack up against dish
washing detergent and a sponge (my preferred method to date).
Last month also saw the breakfast run to Dayboro, which was a
lovely way to blow out the cobwebs. We
had a great roll up with a dozen Lotus and lots of fun had by all. I believe I conned somebody into writing
about it, so look for it in this issue.
While some of us were off to
The new Noosa based tarmac rally (Suncoast Classic) has hit a few snags recently with some
tree huggers and a “journalist” from the local Mt. Glorious rag
stirring up a frenzy about tarmac rallies damaging trees, frogs, babies and the
Australian Way – pathetic, really, and hard for anybody with an IQ above
75 to believe – which is why the Pine Rivers Shire Council and the local
State
The coast run will have come and gone before you read this (28th
of April), but May the 6th (Mother’s Day) is the annual sports
car concourse held at MacLean’s Bridge.
There’ll only be a handful of you that have never heard of or been
to this event, but if you haven’t, it’s a must. It’s mainly a morning gathering, so
there’s plenty of time to catch up with your dear old mum later in the
day – or bring her along! There’ll
be trophies for the best Lotus, so start polishing. There’ll be more details in an email a
few days before, but champers and a picnic lunch is usually the order of the
day.
The next meeting will be on Tuesday the 8th of May at
Chapman’s, where hopefully Steve Lennox will give us the good oil on good
oil.
See you there
Patrick
April 2007
Well, another AGM, and another brand new committee… as if! We now
have full CAMS affiliation, so Craig Wilson volunteered for the thankless task
of CAMS delegate, and Derek Dean, who has arranged a few great activities for
the club before anyway, has joined Wade as social convenor – let the fun
begin. Apart from those two examples, the committee is largely
unchanged. Don’t get me wrong, I am enjoying being president
– the corporate box tickets, first class air fares, back stage passes and
drinks with the Prime Minister, etc. – the perks are endless. And
although I lie awake at nights plotting how to overtake Craig’s nine year
record as grand poo bah, I can’t help feeling that it’s not good
for the club to be locked in to the fiendish plans of only one man. I mentioned
last year that we need a few people – especially some of the younger
members – to put their hand up for office bearer positions, and despite
my urgings, things are largely status quo. So I shall be having a few
private words with some of you throughout the year… look out! On a
slightly different note, Maggie’s sister, who was gravely ill, has now
passed away – all of our thoughts are with you, Maggie. During the
year, Maggie will have to nip back to the
The March meeting was otherwise another great turn out, with two new members
and one new car – a beautiful white 1986 Turbo Esprit.
Congratulations Graeme, it looked like a lovely example. Wade went
through the calendar for the year, which still needs some modifying to cope
with clashes and accommodation shortages, but if you keep an eye on the web
site, you’ll get all the necessary changes in time.
I’ve spoken with Graham Smith at Fulcrum, and he’s happy to
continue supporting the club by advertising in the magazine, which a good
source of income for us to help defray the costs of publication, so don’t
forget Fulcrum when you need any suspension or steering work done. Other
advertisers this year are Otto instruments and Greg Bray – keep these
guys in mind for any gauges, speedo cables or
mechanical work you need. If you have any business associates who might
wish to advertise with us, get them to contact me and I’ll do them a
special deal!
The big event of the moment is Lotus 2007, of course, and hopefully those of
you going will get this before you go. I have passed on delegation duties
to Peter Murray, who needs someone form each club to write an article about the
trip down and back, and the bits in between – wait for the tap on the
shoulder… Unfortunately, I won’t be able to attend –
mainly due to logistics problems – the Elan
doesn’t have a baby seat, although I’m sure a neat little carbon
fibre one would fit on the centre tunnel (police and wife objections
noted). If you are going, have a great time. Having been to a few myself, I know you will. If you’ve never been to
a national meeting before, I can tell you that it’s always worth the
effort. The next one is in
My home renovation is taking up all the spare grey matter in my head at the
moment. I don’t need to worry about the white matter, as the entire
inside of the house, including my daughter, is covered with a fine layer of
white matter. This is slowly driving my wife around the twist, but she
understands it’ll all be over soon – well, before Lotus 2009,
anyway. This has contributed to us not going to Lotus 2007, as well as
putting paid to any plans I may have had to go to Targa
The Saturday morning run down to Zupps Southport is
coming up on the 28th of April, keep that free, and the very next
weekend is the annual concourse at MacLean’s Bridge on Mother’s
Day, which is an absolute must. It’s probably the largest combined
sports car concourse in
The next meeting will be on the 10th of April (Tuesday night) at
Chapman’s. The planned talk on oils by Steve Lennox will be
postponed to the May meeting, due to some club members being away at Lotus
2007.
See you there.
Patrick
March 2007
Having been an avid classic car enthusiast for most of
my adult life, I have experience in the pitfalls, dead ends, and general
minutia of restoring cars. Body work, interior, mechanical, electrics
– I’ve had a bash at all of it over the years, mostly with a fair
modicum of success. So when it comes to a house renovation, I felt that
it would be a piece of cake to an old campaigner like me! No. After
nine years of thinking about it, I suddenly decided to get it done.
Actually, what happened is that after 18 months of marriage it’s finally
getting done – for many reasons, not the least of which is the fact that
I’ve recently been living a more frugal life, and now have the money to
pay for it all (thanks darling).
As I write this (only half a day late), my wife is slowly going nuts, watching
a fine layer of dust settle over everything in the house. Having already
been less than impressed with my cleaning skills, my beloved has lately been
calling into question my planning and organisational skills (I have a sick
feeling there’ll be an editorial quip here). I personally think
that I have excellent time management abilities. Having studied physics,
I know with absolute certainty (apologies to Heisenberg) that time can’t
be managed at all, and who am I to argue with the laws of physics?
Anyway, when restoring a car, there’s always a plan of action (in your
head, rarely written down), but things can take a leisurely pace, and often
months go by with nothing more happening than some tinkering with a stripped
out chassis and maybe threading a wire. With a house renovation, every
detail must be written down in triplicate, and although our builder is fine
with changes on the run, things happen so fast that I come home with an idea
only to find that bit finished and the next bit under way. This suits Gabby’s well organised mind very well, but I’ll
have to increase my medication if it continues.
Despite all the time and expense, there won’t be much change to the
garage, so I’ll have to rule out a shed tour here for now, but there is a
club shed tour planned this year – check the club calendar, but the
provisional date is Sunday July 29, and should be a nice run across town.
The next run will be Sunday March 25 – the neat little Dayboro breakfast
run – a nice way to start the day.
Our first meeting of the year had standing room only, which always a great
start. Mike had to stand in for Maggie, who has a gravely ill sister and
had to rush back to the
We’re also planning a few different technical nights this year, the first
being on fuel and oil, which will probably be the April meeting. This
will be arranged by Steve Lennox and should be great night, as I’m sick
and tired of all the misinformation the oil companies
spout, and would like to hear the truth.
The next meeting is the AGM, so you will need to make sure that you’re
financial if you want to vote. Don’t forget that all the office
bearer positions will be open if you want to get involved. If
you’re not up for that, but still want to step up, why not write an
article for the club magazine?
Anyway, just a short one this month as my house is crashing down around
me. The AGM meeting is on the 13th of March at Chapman’s.
Don’t forget to bring your membership form and fee!
See you there.
Patrick
February 2007
Our
Lotus club has been growing stronger since it was put back on the bitumen by a
small band of stalwarts in 1995. This year we have plenty of activities
to keep us busy, beginning with the Australia Day run, which will, of course,
have been done by the time this gets to press, but I promise to harangue
someone into writing about it for next month. The next week on Sunday
morning (Feb 4), Chris Beecham has organised a breakfast at a
Our last meeting for last year was better than any of us could have hoped for
– a great venue with refreshments put on by Zupps,
the new local Lotus dealer. And an excellent speaker in Chris Dinnage from Classic Team Lotus, who had us
captivated the entire night. Thanks to Zupps
General Manager Ben Carreira, who hosted the evening,
and Derek Dean, who invited Chris to speak – it seems that Derek is only
one degree of separation from anyone in
Our trusty band of Morgan Park racers have signed on for the “A”
series this year, as the usual “B” series clashes with a few
historic events. I might mention at this point that the July date also
clashes with a planned club weekend to Noosa to catch
up with the Suncoast Rally – something to
consider if the sprint organisers will allow a mass Lotus defection for one
weekend. And yes, this year I’m definitely going to get to a couple
in the Elan – promise. In fact I’ve
had another fiddle with it of late, and… blew up the electronic
controller for my fancy electric water pump. I know, I know, I should
leave it alone – just as soon as I fix this latest glitch! I take
heart from reading Jay Leno et al in Octane magazine. These
contributors drive around in McLaren F1s and the
like, and still break down on the side of the road on the way to events.
Besides the Morgan Park sprints, the club will also have the usual assortment
of breakfasts, day runs, and weekends away (keep an eye on the calendar).
If you can’t raise a second mortgage to go to any of the big tarmac
rallies this year, don’t forget the July weekend away (7th-8th)
to spectate the Noosa
event. There is also the Noosa Hillclimb, as well as the fabulous Speed on
Don’t forget that this is your club, and if you have any ideas
about events or social activities that you’re interested in, let someone
know and we can probably arrange it. Some of the most fun things
we’ve done have originated this way. In a similar vein, if
there’s a topic that you want covered in the magazine, or you have some
information to share, write about it! We’re always looking for
extra material to publish and some of the most amazing reads have come from
one-time contributors discussing a subject that’s dear to them.
So there you have it. We have another busy year planned, with room for
more if you have any ideas. Despite the fact that I’m personally
holding up the publication date this month (only by three days), hopefully
you’ll get this in time for the Motorshow
breakfast run on Sunday 4 February. The final details will be sent by
email, but the café is called “Star” in Little Stanley St., the
free parking will be down the side of the convention centre (
I hope to see everybody at the
See you there.
Patrick